Self Respect

Hi Everyone, I hope you have all had a fabulous week. I had a wonderful day yesterday with one of my besties up at Mt Tamborine. We went to a couple of distilleries and wineries to get some goodies. It was a fun day out and so lovely to spend time chatting and laughing. It is so good to get out and about and spend time with friends.

This week's blog is following on from last weeks about giving & receiving energy. As I said last week mutual friendship and relationships are about supporting each other and giving and receiving equally. Now it may mean you give more over a period of time when a friend is going through a difficult situation and vice versa. The important thing to know is that the relationship is a healthy and happy one. You come away feeling joyful and grateful you have such wonderful friends.

If you have friendships or in a relationship where the other person gives, expecting something in return all the time and saying things to make you feel guilty, then that is a not true friendship or connection. Or they give you the cold shoulder and don't return your calls or text messages. That is simply not OK. We all have our own stuff we are going through and it is not up to another person to judge you or think their stuff is way more important then what you are going through. If they are having a bad day, all they have to do is text and say "thanks for thinking of me, but I am not up to chatting today". A true friendship or relationship is when the other person has no expectation. It is an equal exchange of energy. When we give from our heart, then we know we are truly connecting with people on a deeper level. I know I am so lucky and blessed to have the wonderful friends I have in my life. My friends and I also work on our connections and friendships and don't take each other for granted.

So what about when things are not going so well and we keep giving a person chance after chance, as we have known them for a long time, or we see the value in what we have but it is not being reciprocated. There are situations where we are left feeling shut out, wondering what we have said or done wrong or even blamed for what is happening in someone's life. This can be difficult as we automatically go into the guilt mode and would rather try to patch things up than walk away. However there are times when we have to make a choice to keep going through the same scenarios of unhappiness or we walk away.

We have to have respect for ourselves. We all deserve to be happy and be treated with love and respect. We cannot expect our happiness to come from another person or anything outside of us. It comes from within. If we are truly honest with ourselves and know we have given all we can give and it is still not being reciprocated, then we have to walk away. A lot of people don't walk away as they feel guilty for doing it. Or they think the other person will change. In some cases I have seen people stay with their partners for years, both being miserable and unhappy as they are too sacred to be on their own. Fear takes over. That is seriously not living. Ask yourself, who am I? Who am I without my partner or friends?

If you are in a unhappy relationship with anyone. Try to work things out. But do not be someone's doormat. If you feel you cannot resolve, then face reality and walk away. A toxic friendship or relationship is not worth it. Or staying in a relationship because you think you don't deserve better, or this is as good as it gets. You are wrong. Be brave, be strong and fearless. You can and will have the life you imagine, you just need to want it enough.

I remember many years ago I made a decision to leave a long term partner I had been with for over 7 years. We were engaged to get married. I woke up one day and realised I loved him but wasn't in love with him. I could have stayed and we could have got married and had children and lived a reasonably happy life together, pretty much debt free. But I chose to leave, I took a small amount of cash, a few bits of furniture and my personal possessions. He kept the car that was his before we met and he also got the house as I refused to fight for it. I was so caught up in the possibility of ending up with a huge solicitors bill I just walked away. My solicitor wanted me to take half of the house and half his super and I couldn't do it. His super was his, the house, yes I should have taken more but I didn't. But what I did get was freedom, freedom to live the life I wanted and to be happy. I wanted him to be happy too and unless I was fully committed then it was not fair for me to stay.

That was one of the hardest decisions I ever made. I not only lost him but I lost his family too. I had a very difficult childhood and I was raised by foster parents. My foster dad had passed away only a couple of years before and my relationship with my foster mum was non existent. So for me losing his family that I loved was heartbreaking. Why am I telling you this? Because I want to share personal experiences with you, so you know I understand and also I want you to know that when we make the biggest decisions in our life, we have the biggest growth. I had a couple of serious relationships later on that ended badly. I was just attracting the wrong guys, simply because I was not ready and didn't respect myself. My ex had said some not so nice things to me in the heat of the moment, that affected me on a far deeper level then I realised.

Enter my super hero best friend who I have been friends with for 32 years now, in her words of wisdom she said "Heids, you need to just have some time on your own and get to know you". Wow, was she so right. So I stopped dating, I went on to study and get a diploma in massage therapy and studied energy work, whilst working a full-time job and also part-time at a local football club. I simply did not have time to date. I am still single many years later and as much as I would love to have a partner, I know the right one will come along when I am completely ready. Am I happy? Yes I am. Of course I have had my struggles like anyone else, but I know I can do anything and have the life I want. I know that when I meet the person I am meant to be with, I will be giving them the best version of myself possible. I also have grown so much. I know I wouldn't have done the things I have done if I had stayed in those relationships.

Working on yourself is a never-ending journey. Be the best version of yourself and you will live a life full of happiness. Your relationships will be better. You will wake up happy every day. Meditate, take that course you have always wanted to do or hobby you love, get out in nature, spend time with family and friends, learn a language, take a salsa class, do whatever makes you happy. Dream big and take gigantic leaps of faith. We all can have what we want and and be what we want. You just need to believe in you! You will also have so much more happiness to give back to others.

Next week I am going to talk about energy and time. I hope you have a fabulous week everyone. Look within and be the best version of yourself. Think about the things you love to do that you are not doing and take that first step. I look forward to connecting with you next week. Also if you are feeling stuck and can't move forward, having a Space Clearing always works. Please feel free to contact me to discuss further, I am only a phone call away. Please as always, I would love you to share my blog, FB page and instagram with your family and friends.

Love Heids xo

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